Sea of unfamiliar faces

I have had to make a decision about what to do at the end of my maternity leave. Should I return to work full-time, part-time or be a full-time mum? Hmmm? I know what I want to do and my husband agrees and supports me totally.

I have decided to be a full time mummy and have confirmed to my employer that I intend to take a career break to raise The Boo. Gulp!

From the moment The Boo was born, I knew I wouldn't want to go back to work and I hoped that our finances would allow me to stay home. Oh, I considered all the options though. Hang on, no, that's a lie - returning full-time was never an option for me. I'd miss The Boo too much! But I did think about part-time hours. I wouldn't want to work to give most of my earnings to a childminder or nursery, so the only choice for me would have been my parents. As much as they adore spending time with her, chasing The Boo as she crawls around all day trying to get into mischief would have been too exhausting for them. Bless the biddies!

But the main and real reason for my decision is that I just want to be with The Boo all day every day! 

I had the meeting about it at work today and I was surprised about all the mixed feelings I had. On the way to the office I found myself really missing that lovely scenic route I took every day and longed to go back to it and watch the seasons change. Everything felt wonderful, safe and familiar - until I got to work. Things have changed a lot in that place since I left! The receptionist was different, the decor was all new and as I made my way through the building towards my desk, I was surrounded by a sea of unfamiliar faces. Had I gone into the wrong building?? Nope. This was it now, the business had continued to move forward and I had been left behind. 

Yep, definitely made the right choice! 

Her first kiss!

The Boo had some visitors last week. My Uncle and Aunt came over for an afternoon and were very surprised at how much she had changed since they last saw her in May. Joining them was one of my cousins. We worked out that we hadn't seen each other since a particular party in 1996! She was very happy to meet The Boo and had lots of cuddles with her. We also scoffed a lot of cake, courtesy of Nanny!

Next to visit was our friend Julie. She popped in to have a nose around the house and then we strolled to the pub with The Boo, Daddy and Auntie Linda. The Boo has become quite a regular at this pub! We had a lovely dinner and a good catch up.

Finally my good friend Sarah and her adorable son Miller came over to see us. This woman is an inspiration to me. The last two years of her life have been agonising, heartbreaking and awful and yet she greeted me with that big, beautiful wide smile of hers and she has a positivity about her that absolutely amazes me. She has been through hell and she somehow has the strength to be cheerful. She is honest and speaks very frankly about her life and that's all part of her charm. Watching her interact with her son is a joy to behold and she truly is a wonderful mother. I love her dearly. She also gives the best cuddles - the kind you can't help but sink into, feeling safe! Mmmm. 

 

The Boo also attracted the attention of a very sweet four year old boy! We were out shopping when he came running over to the pram yelling "Mummy, look at this lovely little girl"! He immediately stroked her head ever so softly before smiling up at me and then he leaned in and kissed her! Her first kiss from a boy who is not classed as family! I chatted with him and his Mummy for a little while and The Boo got another two kisses from him before we said our goodbyes. He was so careful and gentle with her, love him. The Boo's reaction? She didn't bat an eyelid!

New food that The Boo has tried over the last week or so;

Sausage stew (loved)

Mango (liked)

Scrambles eggs with mashed baked beans (didn't like, but ate with a grimace!)

Diluted pressed apple juice (loved)

Bit of Milky Bar (no reaction) 

Cauliflower (liked)

Bit of Victoria Sponge cake (loved)

Contents of chicken pie (loved)

Vegetable quiche (liked)

Things she has tried to consume but has been firmly prevented;

Coffee

Cardboard

Tissue

Houseplant leaves and dirt

Beer

Sweet wrapper

My hair

Home Sweet Home

Well the house is finally starting to look like a home! Surfaces are much cleaner. Things are finding their own little place and rooms are coming together. I want to go on a hunt to look for pretty, lovely, yummy things - how I love shopping for the home!

When we moved in, we were so busy with the building work and adjusting to parenthood that there were quite a few boxes that we just hid way in the spare room. You know, boxes of CD's and DVD's and papers that we need to 'sort out'. Well I was a good girl and have made a start on the CD's.

It's amazing how music attaches itself to memories isn't it? All it takes is a few seconds of a song and I can be sent tumbling back into 1991 and filled with all of the emotions that that year brought! I heard one song and smiled, feeling elated and excited. I heard another and was filled with dread as it reminded me of a sad situation. Another made me laugh out loud.

I also thought a lot about the people in my life in that year too. Quite a few of those people are my friends on Facebook, but there are one or two people that meant the whole world to me back then, but whom I have no idea where they now are or what they are doing in their lives. That makes me feel a bit sad and I wonder if they ever think of me and wonder what I'm doing? I'll say one thing though, I realised the few regrets I had were about things I didn't do, not what I did. A missed opportunity is more painful than any lesson learned from a mistake!

After all those mixed feelings I need a cuddle and I turn to The Boo. She is my whole world now. Her and her daddy. As I approach her in her bouncer, she looks at me and her entire face lights up with a grin as she raises her arms to be picked up. I can feel my heart swelling. As I scoop her up, feel her warmth and embrace her, she throws her arms around my neck, pushes her face against mine and giggles as we cuddle. My Home Sweet Home. I also reach for the changing bag as she's stinky!



Pass me the rubber gloves and stand back!

I'm a very excited woman. We have been refurbishing our home for the last twelve months and we are finally coming to the end! We started the work whilst my husband and I were still living in my flat and I was pregnant with The Boo and then we moved here in January. For the first four months we had no kitchen whatsoever! I'll leave you to imagine how fun that was! But nearly all of the work has been done now and the last of the big work was completed this weekend.

We woke up early on Saturday morning (or rather The Boo decided we should all be wide awake at 6am) and the three of us had a lovely quiet hour of family time and cuddles in bed before we had to get ready for the day. First the tiler arrived to put up gorgeous Laura Ashley tiles in the kitchen. Then the builder arrived to lay the lovely new floor in the hall. The quiet we had enjoyed first thing was very soon replaced by the sound of banging, howling wood saws, screeching tile saws, men's voices and two separate radios! The builder came back on Sunday to lay the rest of floor in the kitchen, which was a great improvement from the bland concrete state that it was.

So now is the time for me to clean up! Pass me the rubber gloves and stand back because I am a woman on a mission! Unless you've had building work done on your home, you may not be able to understand the immense amount of dust it creates. I have desperately tried to keep on top of it, but as soon as I put the cleaning stuff away it needs to come out again. Now that the flooring is down, I may achieve some success.

The Boo will be spending some time with her Nannies and Grandad over the next couple of days, so I can get stuck in. Judging by her performance at the dinner table last night, maybe she should really stay here and learn how to clean up! Daddy was feeding her and I don't know what happened but she ended up with her roast chicken dinner all over her face. How it never went in her eye I do not know.

The above was taken about 2 hours after I cleaned the oven!





Hmmmm...

Oh, I nearly forgot! The Boo cut the first of her top teeth yesterday! I noticed it whilst she was laying down having her nappy changed and grinning at me. Just like her 2 lower teeth, it came through with no fuss or complaint. She's either very lucky or she's one tough little girl. I like to think it's the latter! Every day she changes and looks a little bit older and a little bit different. I don't ever want to wish her life away, but I really can't wait to see what she looks like with hair! I'm a very lucky mummy to have The Boo.

Why do they do that?

When I'm sick, I complain about it to anyone willing to listen and try to sleep a lot! But The Boo doesn't. Especially not the sleeping part.

Do all babies fight sleep? Why do they do that? Do they think they are going to miss out on something!? And when I say fight, I mean fight! When The Boo is showing all her signs that she needs a nap, I have to cradle her in my arms and lock that position down! Oh, she'll lay there quietly with her eyes shut, all relaxed and calm for a while, but when sleep approaches it's a different story! Arms flail, legs kick, back arches and she screams and cries. Eventually she drops off, but only once she has used every ounce of energy.

Today was no exception. We were busy out shopping most of the day. I've recently started to allow her to sit in those little seats at the front of shopping trollies. The Boo loves it! She can hold on, rock forwards and backwards or side to side and crane her neck to stare at fellow shoppers, but her favourite activity in this position is leant forward biting the hand rail and dribbling profusely, which is not embarrassing for me at all! All of this excitement meant no chance for napping, so by the time we got home, The Boo was tired. Once she was changed and fed, upstairs we went (our loft room is our living room). After five minutes in her Jumperoo she had had enough and wanted milk and cuddles... and then the fight started!!

I do wonder whether I'm being mean when I have her in that vice like grip. I never hold her so tight that she can't move at all and I talk calmly or sing a lullaby to her and kiss her gently. Also, the whole time this goes on, her eyes are shut so I know she is exhausted. Some may say I should put her in her cot and let her settle herself, but she wouldn't. She'd flip over, pull herself up to standing and babble at me with heavy eyelids and a dopey grin. Sleep would be out of the question!

In her Grandad's arms.

Let it pour.

The Boo is poorly again. This is her fourth cold, bless her. She woke up this morning with a very runny nose and cold hands and I almost didn't take her out on her daily morning walk with Nanny, Grandad and the woofers. She is currently asleep beside me on the sofa, making the occasional soft gurgling noise. She is also missing a sock, but doesn't seem to care.

 The Boo can't blow her nose. I don't know how old little humans are when they learn how to do this. Do you know? Will she naturally do it when she's old enough or do I have to teach her? Blimey, I wouldn't know where to start! So, I now have to keep a tissue or wet wipe to hand, ready to mop up the torrent on her top lip at a moments notice. She has no choice but to let it pour and I can't stand to see it there.

Unfortunately, The Boo hates having her face wiped and I have to wrestle with her hands to even get close enough to do it. Honestly, you'd think I was hurting her the way she carries on. Still, all is forgiven and forgotten soon enough.

The good thing about her being ill is that she slows down. She, like most of us, just can't be bothered and wants to lay around snuggled up with a full tummy. And that means more cuddle time for me! Yay! Every cloud and all that.


Am I doing this right?

Right, here goes... my first attempt at blogging. I've been telling myself that it can't be that scary as loads of people do it. So why is my heart thumping in my chest with nerves? Am I doing this right? Oh, come on woman, nine months ago you pushed a baby out of your body, you can do this!!

The baby to whom I refer, is my little daughter, 'The Boo' as we refer to her. She came (or was painfully and gradually pushed) into my world in November last year and totally changed my life. For the better, I hasten to add. She is the main inspiration for this blog and you will get to know all about us.

I plan to share my experiences in raising The Boo. I don't know how this will go or if anyone will read it but I do want to make a promise. I promise I will be honest. When it comes to The Boo I will tell it like it is and how it really feels.

I will probably throw in some other things that I enjoy in life too. My photos. Favourite things. Recipes? Who knows how this will develop. I can only do my best. Kind of like parenting really.

The Boo

morning smiles for mummy